Self Injury in Japan

Time Magazine has an excellent photo essay on Self Injury in Japan. A few years ago when I worked for one of the large Eikaiwa schools I was unfortunate enough to witness a Japanese co-worker self harm in the staff room of our school. The reaction of my co-workers was typical of the working environment that we were in, how would could we cover classes and what would we tell the students. The poor teacher tried to come back to work, but everyone was on edge around her, not making the situation any easier, and the following day she was given a 'months holiday' and ultimately never came back to the school, the school said that this was her decision, but I still to this day believe she was probably pressured not to come back to work, what was worse was that the school never offered any assistance to her in terms of counselling or support, writing her off effectively as someone who couldn't cope with the pressure of work.

Original Post seen on f*cked gaijin

How to get to Heirinji Temple

As I posted a while back I got a bike and despite having a few problems with pedestrians I managed to get out and about around Shiki and Niiza. I discovered this really old temple about 15 minutes away from my house. I had noticed a lot of monks doing a dash down the road in front of my house on Wednesday mornings and apparently they come from a Zen Buddist temple called Heirinji, which is apparently one of the most famous in Japan, but not mentioned in the Lonely Planet now is it, the only mention Saitama gets is Kawagoe. So if you are out Niiza way this temple is opposite the city hall, and well worth a visit, the grounds are huge and the temple is quite grand, and as I clear know sod all about Zen Buddism, aside from the fact you go jogging on a Wednesday you can read some more here.

If you want to go there take the tobu tojo line to Shiki Station, take the south exit and catch a bus no 73 from in front of the resona bank, the bus is bound for Hibarigaoka and you need to get off at Niiza Shiakusho (Niiza City Hall) it takes about 15 minutes by bus, the temple entrance is a short walk away from there.

Taking the pisstures

I bought a new camera recently, as it seems the price of cameras has dropped recently enabling even the poorest of English teachers to splurge on a digital SLR, so I plunged for a nikon d40, down in Akihabara. The only problem is that the manual is in Japanese, my manuals manual is in Japanese so to speak. So this thing has a million buttons of which I know how to use one, the off/on button, which is important. So I decided that as much as possible I would carry this camera as much as possible, practice makes perfect, well after trying to teach English for four years, I can tell you, this isn't true, no matter how hard you try, you have either got it or you ain't, if only I could say this to my students, and they would say "sensei you are right, my capacity for English just isn't there I will try my hand at croquet or something which uses a different part of my brain" well actually they wouldn't say that would they because they can't speak proper English, but anyway.. So here I am carrying my 50,000 Yen camera and trying to avoid everyone careering into me in the midst of shinjuku station. Actually photographing the movement of Japanese people is interesting, but what is annoying is that if they see me taking a picture they will move out of the way, and so I can be on a high street in Ginza and have half the pavement to myself because people are avoiding my shot, which is not what I want, not only can't I read the manual, but I can't get people in the shot in the first place, this is the anti-camera camera, it's taking the piss and not taking pictures I want, which is why I have lots of scooter and building pictures, or I take pictures in the dark, which is not very productive.

Anyway carrying a camera in Japan you will inevitably get some interesting pictures and in Shinjuku, I was taking a picture of some cops when a car full of cos players got in my way, the cops didn't even bat an eyelid and off they went before I had chance to adjust my focus, well its automatic so I don't need to know to do this.

More photos over at flickr

Japanese Scooters

It's funny, when I came to Japan, I imagined to see a lot of fast motorbikes but on the contrary the main type of bike appears to be the scooter. But the Japanese being the Japanese, don't just settle for ordinary looking bikes they appear to have these weird looking alien bikes. The black one here is a Honda Forza, with accessories, and the white one, I have no idea. The next time you are in Shinjuku take a look around the scooter parks its amazing what you can see, or is it, I have to admit I know nothing about bikes, and so these bikes could be the norm in the states or europe, or is it that we just pimp our cars instead.

Did the earth move for you

There were a lot of big tremors last night in Saitama, starting around 1am and continuing through the night, it was the first time I had felt a big earthquake in a while, and a stark reminder of how vulnerable Japan is to seismic activity. The funny thing is about earthquakes, is that I should be scared, we apparently get a lot of earthquakes in the UK, but most of them aren't significant enough to be felt. I remember a huge one back in the eighties, I was on holiday with my family in Wales, the quake was fairly big, and my mam went crazy because she thought I was fucking around in the night, hiding in the wardrobe and shaking it.

Anyway last night I was awakened to the screams of my neighbour, usually this is when he gets lucky, not that often, but this time he really started screaming, 'yabai yabai'@ (it's bad it's bad). Now where I sleep is a tiny alcove(so called loft), in my tiny apartment on the third floor of a not so new building, with not so thick walls, so when my neighbour screams, "yabai". either he has got his rocks off, or it's a pretty big earthquake, and i heard him climb down the ladder, and run for cover. The tremor lasted for a long while, and I admit after two minutes of my apartment rocking, I went to check the TV to check if it was the big one, I mean what was I thinking, checking the TV when the earth around could be caving in, especially being on the third floor, but there I sat, oh saitama was pretty close it seems, surely alarm bells should have been ringing, you know, neighbour screaming, long tremors, the Japanese should be used to it, shouldn't they. But they are all shit scared of the big, talking to my friends today they all thought it was the big one, and shit a brick.

Which reminded of my first big earthquake here four years ago (the niigata quake), I was teaching at the time, again high up, old building, this time four old ladies, screaming the place down, and holding my hand, it felt like a Chippendales show and that ain't the two little Disney beavers, and I know shaking beavers is dangerous, but they (the old ladies, not the beavers), like my neighbour last night, crapped themselves (well they are old its natural) , while I remained in a state of calm and indeed with a perverted interest, kind of like a bored a house wife, discovering sitting on a washing machine is fun, well not the same really is it..........

Where I live!

I have lived in Shiki, which is in Saitama for about two years, its not a bad place but I have never really explored the area, until about two weeks ago when I got my very own 'push iron' (bicycle) donated by a co-worker.

Now I have a pet hate about Japan which is that people seem to lack a sense of direction, not that there lives aren't going anywhere, well...on reflection..that might be true for a majority, but they just don't know how to walk in a straight line or be spacially aware. Now I have this problem walking down the street, admittedly I am a fast walker, but every three or four steps someone will cut me up or just suddenly stop as though they realized they left the iron on at home. It happens all the time and it drives me nuts.

So what can I do, just grin and bear, utter some expletives, or aquisition myself a shove rod (bicycle) and mow these motherfuckers down, sorry thats bad language you should have looked away back there if you were offended, but chances are if you looked away I would crush you under my new steel horse.

But on mounting my new piece of chinese technology I discovered a whole new set of problems, for the pedestrian on the bike is god, they will move, but they will move for high school kids, but they won't move for me, is it a foreign thing? on my first ride through the streets of shiki, I struck an old lady, she just turned for no reason, there was no reason for this woman to stop and turn left, there was no crossing, just a flower bed, with no flowers, but she had to go and turn didn't she and ended up with a leg full of bike, 'itai' she said (that hurt) and then apologised, over the next few days I had the same experience, it always seems to be women, its like they stop and think what am I doing with my life and get accosted by a ginger on bike, as if to bring them back into line.

Then I realised what the key was to riding a bike in Japan, its the bloody bell...use the bell..use th e bell, I noticed this when so old dude ripped past my just dinging away like a trumpton fire truck, proper bazzin along he was and everybody shifted out of the way...and was learnt..learnt good I tell you, off I went straight into the nearest obasan (old lady)...unfortunatly my bell didn't work.

But what amused when I was surfing you-tube I found someone else had applied the bell secret to the walking pedestrain, and low and behold check this out, my life could become much easier, but I will need something else to whinge about.

社員旅行 PART１

The company trip - look at these people, how happy are they, thats because its my company trip, happy little faces, happy considering the fact I had been told I should get back on the bus five minutes ago, we have a schedule to keep...

The company trip in Japanese is called the Shain Ryoko,社員旅行） which sounds like shine ryoko, but shain means company people and ryoko means trip.

This trip we took from Saitama, where my office is, to Karuizawa for an overnight stay at a hotel, the trip is a reason to take a break from work get to know your co-workers, and drink copious amounts of alcohol, starting from 9 in the morning, which sounds like a good thing doesn't it.

So draw your attention to the bottom left corner of the picture, looking away from the camera, is the scheduler for the trip, I will for want of a better word call her the uber bitch, she isn't looking at the camera because I just wrecked her schedule which was meticulous to say the least and she is wondering if we can make it to the hotel for the scheduled five o clock check in. this was the funny part of her schedule, she had it written which highway (motorway) we would be on at what time and nothing would deviate from this schedule, well she hadn't reckoned on a company trip with eight foreign workers..that's us in the back, doing our best to bond with our Japanese co-workers occupying the front of the bus.....I can see Rosa Parks turning in her grave at this one.

and so the 'non Japanese' who had never been to Karuizawa before decided that we would like to see the sights, selfish granted, but this was a company vacation, we should have some say, shouldn't we...now granted I know Japanese culture, the nail that sticks out etc...don't argue with the uber bitch..not sure if that is part of the culture, but if you know Karuizawa you will know there is a very nice outlet shopping mall there and on our schedule is pencilled in 3 hours of shopping.... 3 hours........now if you know Karuizawa, you will know it has some beautiful scenery, and if you live in Tokyo or Saitama, then shopping, well cmon you can do that anytime, can't you and so we asked, look at the word, asked, not demanded, not stuck out a fat foreign lip or poked in a big foreign nose, if possible we could see some nature, as we didn't like shopping..it was done all nice and politely, well as much as a guy from wigan knows polite....................and so it was met with a big thumbs down (from uber-bitch)

so what are we to do, granted we are not in a position to demand things from our company, well except big salaries and less classes, but that's another whinge, so if in doubt cut out the uber-bitch and head straight for the big boss...who was actually in agreement with us, his words in Japanese were, shopping is crap, lets head for the waterfalls.....yeah mission accomplished........only the uber-bitch was not quite so happy........and so the battle commenced..to be continued

Long time no Blog

Bloody hell its been a while, what kind of excuses can i make for not posting well a million and one. this Japanese eye has been weeping for the last six months and has not been able to post for numerous reasons, sob sob.....

i kind have kind of lost a bit of direction with this blog, and to be honest inspiration... what can I post about my life in japan that is interesting...well what i consider interesting and what is interesting to read that's another thing.

about six months ago I got promoted in my job, which meant I became hellish busy, in fact its often said by my Japanese friends that i became like a Japanese salary man, working overtime too much, drinking after work too much and touching girls on the train!!! oh i made that last bit up but its only a matter of time, unfortunately no one will set next to me on the train so maybe I can become the first chikan who is arrested for touching himself...but i doubt i would be the first........

getting promoted in my job what a joke that is... I sat in front of my boss and told her I needed more money for what the company was asking...and she grimaced....I justified it....she uh med and ahhed and so it went on for a few weeks before she agreed to my greedy western demands..brilliant I thought, earning much more than the average teacher....snazzy job title..easy street..until i realized that this salary comes with the added baggage of expectation....earn more become more like a Japanese worker....twice the pay (well not even that) four times the work...and the constant harking back to the 'well you demanded the pay increase....line" and so I find myself working extra hours, gaining some new lines under my eyes which kind of looks like a Tokyo subway map, only I don't get a women only carriage..

the other big thing in my life was splitting with my girlfriend of three-ish years, and what a cultural smack in the extra lined face that was...the reason, her parents don't like ze foreign types... and she is 30......... for anyone who lives here, 30 is the crunch time for a single female, she is over the hill, she should be married, and according to her parents not cavorting around with a baggy eyed, self touching englishman who demands big salaries. It was touch and go for a while, so to speak (cm on mind out of the gutter), whether we would make it, but in the end her parents will was too strong, and in all honesty I couldn't be arsed to deal with the bullshit that came with fighting a losing a battle. you'll be alright a mate said, plenty more sushi in the sea and all that, but all I seem to be harpooning is whales, big whales, that wail and well maybe that's fine in this country but for me its another kettle of fish

enough with the oceanic gags and on to bigger fish to fry...so i got my new job....my packet got bigger..wage packet that is..and so i will embark on a new journey..throw overboard the crappy links to you tube and just try to blog about my everyday existence..which is...well I will leave it up to you to decide.....

Chikan vs Mc Crap

Small things amuse small minds so they say, and well lets face it the Colonels nuggets are small. I spotted this on the way to work yesterday morning, the staff in the shop were wondering what I was doing, and imagine their shock when they realised, but not before I got a couple of pictures. Actually, this was part of another ironic fast food moment this week, when I realised that McDonalds had produced a new range of wraps, not dissimilar to the KFC twister, but the imaginativly titled McWrap has a little problem in Japan, because they don't have the Wr sound and so when you pronounce it in Japanese it becomes MaKurapo which sounds very much like Mc Crappo in English, well done McDonalds it wasn't that hard to speak the truth now was it.

Hello Kitty Car

Here is something for the Hello Kitty fan who has everything, the Hello Kitty Car. I only managed to take one picture, but the wing mirrors on this car were also sculpted Kitty Heads and all rounded off in a beautiful pink. Actually I seem to have seen some interesting cars recently but my favourite has to be this Kindergarden Bus in Nagasaki which was made up like a panda. Anyone who is interested in the surreal world of Hello Kitty should check out Hello Kitty Hell.